Torn and Tattered

As a bisexual man, married to a woman, and fairly active in the Mormon church, I certainly have mixed feelings about the church and its approach to sexuality.

Last Sunday one of our Sacrament meeting speakers talked of those among us who may be suffering in silence. He mentioned those who feel they can not be their authentic selves because others would not understand.

He noted that one-size-fits-all platitudes may not bring relief to those who suffer. He mentioned torn and tattered packages with content that just spills out. I don’t know if he was talking about worn out platitudes, worn out faith or worn out individuals. Maybe all of the above.

Then he asked, “What about our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters who are seeking loving relationships?” His voice caught a bit when he asked that question. It was the spoken equivalent of shedding a tear.

After the meeting, many of my fellow ward members approached the stand to talk to this man who spoke truths not usually heard in church. I also wanted to thank him, but didn’t want to stand in line.

So later, after Sunday school class and before Priesthood I simply told him that I appreciated his talk and that when he wanted to cry, I wanted to cry, too. He kindly said thanks and I thought perhaps someday we’ll talk again.

Meanwhile I continue to be a man in a mixed-orientation marriage with mixed feelings about faith and doubt, transparency and tradition, change and the lack of it.