It's You I Like

Again Vic has inspired me. This time in his Gay Gospel Doctrine Class posting today. His take on God's unconditional love for all of his children reminded me of this Fred Rogers song:

It's you I like.
It's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair,
but it's you I like.
The way you are right now.
The way down deep inside you.
Not the things that hide you.
Not your toys.
They're just beside you.

But it's you I like.
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings,
whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
even when you're feeling blue,
that it's you I like.
It's you yourself.
It's you.
It's you I like.

So the takeaway for me is that thanks to God's unconditional love for all of us, we all have multiple opportunities--I have multiple opportunities--to feel his love for me and for others. If I know I am fully loved for who I am right now; and if I know that unconditional acceptance and love is in place right now for all of us on this planet; I can feel less critical, I can love myself, others and God with greater depth and understanding.

And if not, I can at least listen to Mr. Rogers and remember that I have felt this love before and it is possible to feel it again. The problem isn't in God's always beaming sunshine, but in my own cloudy days and nights of darkness when I fail to remember that dawn is only a few hours away, that blue skies will eventually prevail. God loves us, no matter what.

The Morning Breaks

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39

I love the idea that God's love is always there operating in our lives even when we don't realize it, just as the sun is always shining even though we can't always see it.

Swimming Straight

I've tried denial and positive thinking. I've tried Evergreen and online support groups. I've tried coming out and going back in and sleeping on the couch. I've tried coming clean with my Bishop and counseling. I've tried anti-depressants, tranquilizers and sleep meds. I've tried journaling and blogging and watercolors. I've tried basketball, softball and swimming. I've endured suicidal depression and found Christ just sitting in the sunshine.

Slowly I've found what seems to work for me: striving for self-acceptance and steady breathing, family traditions and diverse friendships, exercise and writing, reading and music, pharmaceuticals and prayer. I've also explored alternate definitions, like "plumb" or "loyal" for "true". And the notion that swimming straight involves nothing more than making it 25 yards from one end of the pool to the other.

Visions, Hugs and Kisses

I need to draw closer to Heaven. I need to affirm my testimony that there is an unlimited source of comfort, encouragement, love, support, and inspiration. I need to realize once again that our Heavenly Parents and our Savior are as concerned about us as any loving earthly family would be about loved ones far away from home on an important mission.

I've thought along these lines several times in the last few days, and it happened again this morning when I learned of this story told by Melvin J. Ballard in 1917:

"I had been on the Fort Peck Reservation for several days with the brethren, solving the problems connected with our work among the Lamanites. Many questions arose that we had to settle. There was no precedent for us to follow, and we just had to go to the Lord and tell Him our troubles, and get inspiration and help from Him. On this occasion I had sought the Lord, under such circumstances, and that night I received a wonderful manifestation and impression which has never left me. I was carried to this place—into this room. I saw myself here with you. I was told there was another privilege that was to be mine; and I was led into a room where I was informed I was to meet someone. As I entered the room I saw, seated on a raised platform, the most glorious being I have ever conceived of, and was taken forward to be introduced to Him.

"As I approached He smiled, called my name, and stretched out His hands towards me. If I live to be a million years old I shall never forget that smile. He put His arms around me and kissed me, as He took me into His bosom, and He blessed me until my whole being was thrilled. As He finished I fell at His feet, and there saw the marks of the nails; and as I kissed them, with deep joy swelling through my whole being, I felt that I was in heaven indeed. The feeling that came to my heart then was: Oh! If I could live worthy, though it would require four-score years, so that in the end when I have finished I could go into His presence and receive the feeling that I then had in His presence, I would give everything that I am or ever hope to be!”
(Melvin J. Ballard—Crusader for Righteousness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 65–66.)

My questions for you are: Have you had experiences like this? What were your feelings? Is such male-on-male smiling, hugging and kissing appropriate in other contexts? If so, when? The first time I witnessed two men I know kiss on the lips was only a few years ago. The kiss was between a dying father and his adult son. I later held the dying man's hand while his wife and son were out of the room. I'm not sure I would have done so if I had not witnessed the kiss he exchanged with his son. Have you had experiences like this? What were your feelings? What can we moho's learn from such experiences?

Easter Milk Questions

Bought and watched MILK yesterday, then attended church with the family today. So on Saturday I saw a powerful movie that brought tears and affirmation. Then on Sunday I celebrated the resurrection of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, whose named shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. I felt the spirit both days. I find comfort in the belief that Christ and Milk (and so many other loved ones) are not dead but alive.

What do you think Jesus has to say to Harvey Milk? Does he condemn him as an evil man who broke down needed barriers to keep homosexual sin from becoming even more accepted in a corrupt world? Or is the message more along the lines of well done, you saw injustice and ended up being murdered trying to make this world a better place for all children of our Heavenly Parents?

Maybe the conversation goes something like this, "Harvey, I've got someone I'd like you to meet. You have quite a bit in common. His name is Joseph Smith."