My Christmas Wishes for You

May you find beauty in the cold of winter

warmth in the glow of friendship and family

peace in your faith

satisfaction in sociality and solitude

May you rejoice in the laughter of children

and the elderly

and everyone else in between

May you discover delightful things

about yourself and others

May you enjoy good health,

mentally, physically, spiritually

and in all other ways

and may you help other

attain such health and well-being

May you face challenges 

that will help you and others grow

But may you also grow as easily 

as a blade of grass on warms spring day

May you be blessed with the 

knowledge that your life

makes the world better 

for those you serve, those you love

and those who love you

past, present and future

May you glimpse the truth 

that there are those you know

and those you don't know 

who care deeply about you

Who thank God that 

you are who you are 

May you thank God 

and our Savior for who you 

are and your life, your blessings

your challenges

If there is within your

Soul a child who

is born with no place

to call home, may you 

welcome that child

feed and clothe and 

nurture him

The Lusty Month of May

I notice guys all year long, but when the weather turns warmer and many of them are sweating and taking off their shirts, I notice them even more.

True, it's been cold and rainy lately here in northern Utah, but still we've had some beautiful days in the last few weeks and more quintessential "perfect spring days" are certainly ahead. Years ago my reaction to the various colors and scents of spring was to try to shut down my emotions. I remember very deliberately trying not to stare, trying not to obsess, which made me even more obsessive.

Now I try to look at things more philosophically. Hey it's springtime. Flowers and trees bloom, dead grass revives, and both men and women spend more time outdoors, wearing less clothing the warmer it gets. It's just the way it is. Why not enjoy it? Sure there are lots of reasons to remain somewhat cautious: traffic accidents, other accidents. But within reason I don't think I need totally cut myself off from the many manifestations of spring.

What do you say? Are you also more likely to experience pon farr at this time of year? If so, how do you deal with it? Any advice for those of us who are also in the same boat?

Are you feeling SAD?

One of our fellow bloggers has written how I sometimes feel at this time of year, "I'm tired and grumpy." In response, I wrote the following and decided to cross post it here:

As far as feeling in a gray zone, that is typical

for many people as we get into the darkest time of the year. Take a look at this article on SAD. My winter routine is to try to get outdoors for a few minutes on my lunch hour when the sun is shining. Exercise also helps. I know your mileage may vary. No matter the cause, feeling gray or disconnected is hard--be it at Christmastime or the 4th of July. Fortunately we live in an age when many positive options are available to take advantage of. What options do you see that might help?"

What do you my reader(s) say? Any other ideas to carry this discussion forward?

Swimming Straight

I've tried denial and positive thinking. I've tried Evergreen and online support groups. I've tried coming out and going back in and sleeping on the couch. I've tried coming clean with my Bishop and counseling. I've tried anti-depressants, tranquilizers and sleep meds. I've tried journaling and blogging and watercolors. I've tried basketball, softball and swimming. I've endured suicidal depression and found Christ just sitting in the sunshine.

Slowly I've found what seems to work for me: striving for self-acceptance and steady breathing, family traditions and diverse friendships, exercise and writing, reading and music, pharmaceuticals and prayer. I've also explored alternate definitions, like "plumb" or "loyal" for "true". And the notion that swimming straight involves nothing more than making it 25 yards from one end of the pool to the other.