Friday, January 9, 2009

50 Years in Five Sentences

1. For more than half of our three decades together, I've been out to my wife.

2. In other words I entered this, my first and only marriage, without being honest with myself or her, but that was typical of MOMs (mixed orientation marriages) in 1979.

3. We love, respect, admire, serve, worship, fight, confide, travel and laugh together, but she is no longer in love with me and my sexual passion for her continues to fade.

4. I'm out to my Bishop and he knows one of the huge reasons I go to church is to be with my buddies and brothers, the High Priests and Elders.

5. My man crushes, bromances and unrequited loves equal a dozen, so if I live five more decades, it may reach two dozen at this rate.


  1. she is no longer in love with me

    Are you sure? This makes me sad. I don't want to fall out of love, I hope I never do.

    I look forward to learning about your experience through your blog. It sounds like you were where we are now about 15 years ago. It will be interesting to see what 15 years in the future brings for us.

    Thanks for d-lurking, Ned. Welcome to the queerosphere!

  2. Welcome to the queerosphere. I've added you to my list of family; so, now it's official :)

  3. NED: Thanks for giving voice and name to your lurking! I'm glad you are here.

    As for your five sentences... are you sure you're not describing my life? You seem to be a kindred spirit with similar experiences in marriage, in church, and in bromances. I look forward to becoming more acquainted with your story and hope to learn from you on your journey.

  4. Sarah, Abe and Beck: Thanks for the welcome!

    SARAH: I'm so glad you asked, "Are you sure?" because the other day when she briefly put her hand on my shoulder, I again felt that spark we used to share.

    If we really do have an eternity together, then this life is a grain of sand on a beach that extends throughout the universe, and we've got the time and ability to work it out.

    Incidentally, congrats to you and Scott on your successful MoHo party. What a great idea.

    ABE: I do feel like this is a family. Thanks for your affirmation of that.

    BECK: I'm not as comfortable with the young men as you are, even though I did serve in a stake young men's presidency once, but I am grateful for the bond I feel with guys ranging from their eighties to their twenties. Have you always been able to easily interact with YM?

  5. When I was a YM I couldn't relate or interact with my fellow YM in my ward. They thought I was a nerd and dismissed me as an outcast. It was when I became an MTC teacher that I opened up to them in amazing and incredibly powerful ways. And that has carried forward throughout my life.