Monday, August 2, 2010

Need a hair cut and a care hut for that matter

Dang it, I need to go my hair cut again. It's not just that my hair is out of control. I also need to see my barber. Not just see him. But but talk with him as he cuts my hair and touches me in his kind and gentle yet professional way. I know he does this for a living. Man after man, hour after hour, days, weeks, he's been doing it for years. I like the way he takes his time. I like the haircut and the process of getting a haircut. I like his hands. And the way he stands. The way he talks. His laughter. I wouldn't go to him if he gave lousy haircuts, but he's amazing. My hair, it's going away fast, but he does his best with it. I think he'd make a good doctor or nurse. I think his touch alone is healing, but then again he's never touched me without giving me a haircut, so what do I know?

Come to think of it I also need a massage. I want to walk into a cool darkened room, take off my clothes, get on the table, pull up the sheet and have a professional get the knots out of my back and my neck. I tell myself I don't mind paying for these services from these trained and licensed men. Hey I'm no good at cutting my own hair. No shame in getting a haircut.

To be honest though, I'm a little more ambivalent about massage. I sometimes wish I didn't have to pay. That I had a friend who would do this for me and that I had the skill to return the favor. Pretty unrealistic thinking, isn't it?

In straight Mormon culture, you give and get hugs when guys go on missions, or when you haven't seen somebody in a long time, or maybe at a funerals or weddings. Maybe things are slowly changing. I touch guys in my quorum and they touch me back. That ought to be enough, right? What kind of a guy is constantly wanting hugs from other guys? What kind of guy looks forward to his barber's touch? What kind of guy will spend a dollar a minute to have some other guy give him a fancy back rub?


  1. Yeah, I would like to be man handled myself.

  2. Someone is going through a bit of a gay pon farr if you ask me! To answer all of your questions - "you're gay, remember?" Even if you think you're bisexual or whatever, you're still thinking and acting like I would and do in similar situations, and so I say that with complete authority.

    It's okay to be like this. Maybe a bit pathetic, but we guys faithful in our goals of being true to covenants and marital vows get this way at times. When I ask such questions of myself, I think I'm conflicted and others point out that I'm not - I'm just me, doing the best I can with the chosen path I'm on given the circumstance I'm in.

    So, go for it. Get your haircut. Pay for that deep massage. Go get man-handled as Bror suggests. Keep touching and hugging and extending yourself with others in quorum and elsewhere.

    I really wish I could give you that massage right now, even that haircut! :)

  3. Bror: Thanks. I'm glad you understand.
    Beck: What's with you being up so late? I agree with our analysis and advice. Thanks!

  4. Just a brief update. I got the haircut and some of the touch I needed, too. I feel so much better. Thanks again for the good advice.