Tuesday, December 6, 2011

a moho haiku and a question about friendships

I love my buddy
His smile brings me joy
A blessing of male

Throughout much of my life, I've been frustrated by the lack of reciprocity in many of my male relationships. I expected more than most straight men could authentically give and because of my own homophobia I was unwilling to explore opportunities for friendship with gay or bisexual men. Given this background I'm so grateful when there is reciprocity with a male friend.

Just before Thanksgiving, I felt inspired to make a simple thank you card and give it to one of my friends. Yesterday he reciprocated. Not with a card but with an early Christmas present. Maybe that's not reciprocal  but it was a wonderful surprise. Now I'm smiling as I think about some modest but meaning present I can give to him.

I'm curious about the friendships you have with straight males. Do you seek out these friendships? And do you exchange gifts at Christmastime?


  1. I'm grateful that you have experienced a sense of reciprocity with your straight males. My experience is that straight males are just that - straight. They don't think like I do, as much as I'd like to imagine otherwise.

    My days of gift giving have evolved from giving expensive gifts (easing my feelings of guilt) to just giving a special hug.

    Less risk, but still a sense of giving.

  2. Having had a few, I can testify that your hugs are special and they are a gift. I hope you'll keep giving them out liberally.