Thursday, December 4, 2014

Breakfast in the Castro - Cake and Conversation

Me: Mibes, Good morning! (hugging him)

Mibes: Good morning! How’d you sleep?

Me: Fairly well. I’ve slept better and I’ve slept worse, so I’m grateful to have recharged as well as I have. And you?

Mibes: Early to bed early to rise for me. I’ve learned that I do some of my best thinking in the morning, if I’m out of bed.

Me: I’ve noticed that too. If I’m up and in the shower or at my desk, my thoughts are more positive and seem to go somewhere. I'm in bed and not quite awake, not so much.

Mibes: Is it really being up? Have you tried writing in bed?

Me: For me it’s both. I’ve tried grabbing a notebook and just writing in bed. But I’m better off getting up. 

Mibes: I’ve got another Chinese proverb for you.

Me: Shoot.

Mibes: It is difficult to satisfy one’s appetite by painting pictures of cakes.

Me: Makes sense on the surface.

Mibes: And below the surface?

Me: Well if I compare painting pictures of cake to writing about a friendship, I’d say that writing about a friendship does bring some satisfaction. 

Mibes: But the real relationship and the real cake are more satisfying. 

Me: Depends on the cake. Depends on the relationship. 

Mibes: But in general, wouldn’t you rather actually be with someone than write about it? Wouldn’t you rather eat the cake than paint it?

Me: I’d rather do both. I’ve never tried my hand at painting cakes, but I suspect it would increase my enjoyment of not only of eating put perhaps of baking. I think I’d be much more aware of color and texture. And that would make eating even better. 

Mibes: Well for me, I’d much rather actually be here with you, face-to-face as we are right now, than try to write about it after the fact.

Me: Oh me, too. If that’s choice. Certainly.

Mibes: (pausing a few seconds and looking me in the eye) 

Me: But if it’s a choice between no meeting at all and writing about what you’d imagine saying…

Mibes: Then you’d paint the cake.

Me: I would. I have. I will again. And here’s the thing, the process makes my real life conversations better. 

Mibes: You’ve been more confident?

Me: Yes, especially with the ebb and flow of a conversation. The quiet parts. The silences.

Mibes: (silence and a smile)

Me: Yes, like that. I used to always try to jump in and fill the silence. Like I’m doing right now. But now I’m ok with longer silences. Maybe someday we’ll meet here and just eat. No conversation at all.

Mibes: (silence and a smile)

Me: (silence and a smile)

Mibes: Wow, you’re not kidding. I’m surprised you waited for me to break the silence.

Me: (silence and a smile)

Mibes: I like it when you surprise me.

Me: I like it when you’re surprised.

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