He will yet reveal

Some say the sole purpose of The Family: A Proclamation to the World is to define marriage as between a man and a woman. Not so! Why would the church do that to so many who fall outside that ideal? If only 1% of LDS church members are gay, that's still 138,248 gay Mormons based on the church's 2009 Statistical Report. That would fill to overflowing two facilities the size of LaVell Edwards Stadium.


Yes, the proclamation supports strong families, but not just one kind of strong family. Yes, it says "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God..." but it does not say that other unions are invalid. 


For example we know that marriages between one man and multiple women are also viable on the other side of the veil. The proclamation does not invalidate polygamous marriages made prior to 1890 or the present-day serial polygamist who is sealed to one wife, and then upon her death is sealed to a second, resulting an eternal polygamist marriage.

The Proclamation on the Family speaks of many ideals. Yes, it certainly is ideal for a man and a woman to marry and rear children. No argument there. But it clearly and directly acknowledges that this ideal is not always attained because of a variety of reasons:


"Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."


It doesn't say that other circumstances may cause problems but there's nothing that can be done. It says other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. That powerful, inclusive sentence is a loving acknowlegement that the ideals set forth in the proclamation are sometimes unavoidably unavailable to real people in real life.


In 1922 when my grandmother was widowed as a young mother, her parents did not allow her to date after the tragic loss of her young husband. They believed that dating would violate her Temple covenants with her eternal companion. Today she would not be so tightly constrained. Today she would be encouraged to marry a second worthy husband in the Temple, but not for time and all eternity. The doctrine hasn't changed, but the intrepretation of it has. It didn't even require a revelation, just a change in attitude and, perhaps, church policy. Does anyone how if there was an official change or not?


After the 1978 revelation opening the priesthood to worthy black members of the church, Bruce R. McConkie was questioned about his many strident statements against "the Negro." In a speech entitled All Are Alike unto God he said, "Forget everything that I have said, or what President Brigham Young or President George Q. Cannon or whomsoever has said in days past that is contrary to the present revelation. We spoke with a limited understanding and without the light and knowledge that now has come into the world. We get our truth and our light line upon line and precept upon precept. We have now had added a new flood of intelligence and light on this particular subject, and it erases all the darkness and all the views and all the thoughts of the past. They don’t matter any more."


Elder McConkie thus affirmed the Ninth Article of Faith: "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God."


Fortunately we won't have to forget or set aside anything in the Proclamation on the Family if and when it is revealed that in addition to traditional marriage being ordained of God, "other circumstances" require individual and church-wide adaptation, and should be handled with as much love, accomodation and support as death or disability.


I believe that someday we will all sing with great fervor and thanksgiving Carol Lynn Pearson and Reid N. Nibley's prophetic Primary song I'll Walk with You:

If you don't walk as most people do, 

Some people walk away from you,

But I won't! I won't!

If you don't talk as most people do

Some people talk and laugh at you,

But I won't! I won't!

I'll walk with you,

I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my love for you.

Jesus walked away from none.

He gave his love to ev'ryone.

So I will! I will!

Jesus blessed all he could see,

Then turned and said,

"Come, follow me."

And I will! I will! I will! I will!

I'll walk with you,

I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my love for you.

Rules: The Bad, the OK, and the Wished For

April Theme: The Rules

Old rules that should continue to die - "the bad"

• If you're gay, do all you can to hide it.
• If you can't be heterosexual, fake it until you make it.
• If you marry a woman, the gay will go a way.
• If you marry a woman and the gay doesn't go a way, then it's somebody's fault.
• You would be better off dead than gay.
• All touch is sexual, so don't touch anyone but your spouse.

Existing rules that do apply - "the OK"

• If you are suicidally depressed, get professional help.
• If you marry someone and have children, make them a high priority.
• Care for yourself so you'll be able to care for your loved ones.

New rules? - "the wished-for"

• Not all touch is sexual. It is OK to touch others in appropriate ways.
• Married men, whether straight or gay, can benefit from a variety of male/male friendships.
• Marriage between a man and a woman is the heterosexual ideal, however marriage between persons of the same sex is appropriate for gay people.
• Same sex marriage is legal throughout the United States. This law is not only good for gays, it is good for society in general.

Marriage and Patience

I took this photo last year. I discovered the quotation a couple of weeks ago. Marrying them only occurred to me a few days ago. Sometimes I have to wait a long time for things to fall together. I'd like to think I'm becoming more patient. Some days are better than others. I'm grateful this night for those who love me and those I love. I'm grateful for our creator who loves us unconditionally and urges us to do the same. I'm grateful for love unfeigned. I also grateful for love that requires cultivation and husbandry. I love both wildflowers and planted gardens.

"other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation"

In his recent Call for Contributions, Alan is seeking responses to the opinions of his friend Craig. Here's my take:

Craig says "...[the Proclamation on the Family's] entire purpose is to define marriage as between a man and a woman."

I read proclamation somewhat differently. I see it as a document that supports strong families, but not just one kind of strong family.

Yes, it says "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God..." but it does not say that other unions are invalid. For example we know that marriages between one man and multiple women are also viable on the other side of the veil.

The Proclamation on the Family speaks of many ideals. Yes, it certainly is ideal for a man and a woman to marry and rear children. No argument there.

But it clearly and directly acknowledges that this ideal is not always met because of a variety of reasons:

"Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."

It doesn't say that other circumstances may cause problems but there's nothing that can be done. It says other circumstances may NECESSITATE individual adaptation.

That powerful, inclusive sentence is a loving acknowlegement that the ideals set forth in the proclamation are sometimes unavoidably mitgated (or is it aggravated, Alan?) by reality.

That single sentence makes is clear that the ideals set forth in the document are not always workable or possible.

More than 80 years ago when my grandmother was windowed as a young mother, her parents did not allow her to date. They believed that would be untrue to her Temple covenants with her first husband. Today she would not be so tightly constained. Today she could marry a second worthy husband in the Temple, but not for time and all eternity. The doctrine hasn't changed, but the intrepretation of it has. It didn't even require a revelation, just a change in attitude and, perhaps, church policy.

After the 1978 revelation, Bruce R. McConkie was questioned about his many strident statements against "the Negro." He said, in effect, forget what I said.

Fortunately we won't have to forget or set aside anything in the Proclamation on the Family if and when it is revealed that in addition to traditional marriage being ordained of God, "other circumstances" require indivdual and church-wide adaptation, and should be handled with as much love, accomodation and support as death or disability.